“Get Up, You Lazy Bitch” — The Unexpected Gift My Ex Boyfriend’s Funeral Gave Me

Edward's Funeral

Yesterday was my first boyfriend Eddie’s funeral.

We were invited to go up and write something on his coffin. My sister asked if I wanted to, and I said, “No… I’ve already said my goodbyes privately.”

And then, clear as anything, I heard him say to me:

“Get up, you lazy bitch.”

I burst out laughing. My sister asked what was happening, so I told her. And of course… we got up and joined the line.

Grief is a strange thing. Sometimes it’s heavy, sometimes it’s quiet… and sometimes it sounds exactly like the person you knew.

The Part I Didn’t Expect

Yesterday softened something in me… and it’s stayed with me. Little realisations, bits of truth, just quietly making themselves known as I’ve been sitting with it all.

Sitting at Eddie’s funeral, I caught myself thinking about how rigid I’ve become… how quick I’ve been to judge, to shut things down, to keep people at arm’s length. And if I’m honest, that hasn’t been strength - it’s been self-protection. Probably overcorrection, if anything.

There were little moments that keep replaying… quiet regrets. Missed opportunities. Things I could’ve said, people I could’ve leaned into but didn’t.

But also - there was something really beautiful in it.

Conversations, at the wake, that just happened. Proper eye contact. Shared memories. Even a bit of laughter in places you wouldn’t expect. It made me realise how much I’ve been isolating myself lately… and how easy it is to slip into that without noticing. Eddie did that too, in his own way, even more dramatically when he literally cut ties with everyone a few years ago.

The thing that’s really stayed with me?

I don’t think he truly knew how loved he was.

And that feels like a message. For all of us.

Say the thing.

Reach out.

Let people in.

Don’t wait.

Because love, left unspoken, doesn’t always land. Yesterday was heavy… but clarifying.

I think I want to be a bit softer. A bit more open. A bit less guarded. And kinder - the thing I’m always talking about, but clearly still learning. Speaking more from my heart… with a little bit of healthy boundary in there too.

Rest easy, Eddie 🤍