I CAN PUT MY BAGS DOWN NOW… I didn’t know I was still running.

I had a powerful experience in my sleep this morning.

I know some people will call it a dream, and that’s okay. But I know the difference between an ordinary dream and those experiences that carry something more. For me, these visitations always occur just before I wake up.

I was in a ceremony with a shaman and his helper. There was a group of people there, and I remember feeling apprehensive from the beginning. I was aware of being different and found myself wondering whether I belonged.

Would I pass? Would I qualify? Would I somehow be found wanting?

When I woke, I immediately recognised those feelings. They are symbolic of fears and doubts I’ve carried in my waking life for far longer than I care to admit.

And then something happened.

Despite my apprehension and reservation, I was singled out from the group and taken away privately, and individually attended to.

The shaman said something recognising the journey of my soul.

I can’t remember his exact words, which frustrates me. But I remember how it felt.

I felt seen…truly seen. Recognised, and validated.

It was an extraordinary feeling, yet what struck me most was my response. There was no egoic pride. No swelling sense of importance. I didn’t feel better than anyone else in that room.

I just felt deeply humbled.

And somehow, being seen in that way felt like the greatest gift.

After recognising the journey of my soul, the shaman gave me something to suck on. It appeared to be a piece of mandarin, although within the experience I had the sense it was some form of ceremonial medicine, perhaps connected with Mapacho tobacco resin.

To be honest, I was expecting something big… a powerful medicine. A dramatic purge. Something intensely cathartic.

And then I purged.

It was almost anti-climactic… just a subtle dry wrenching.

That was it.

Yet that feels enormously significant to me. My expectation was bigger. I expected some great experience or ordeal, and instead it was simple.

A small release… a rite of passage.

In that moment I realised it doesn’t have to be catastrophic to be cathartic. It doesn’t have to be dramatic to be transformational.

Sometimes the things we’ve carried for years leave with barely a wrench. No drama, no cinema. Just a simple, matter-of-fact release.

That feels incredibly relevant to where I am right now.

Last night before this dream, a beautiful lady from the meditation group I attend had sent me a message after reading Spiritual Sparks and Cosmic Chuckles. Her words touched me deeply…

“Hi Scott

Wow!!!

I just finished your book.

I couldn't put it down.

On Thursday night I read up to Page 297 until I had to sleep. And tonight finished it. You are so clever and talented in so many ways.

You are so brave, open and honest.

It is truly a phenomenal read.

The whole book resonated with me.

You touched a deep part of my soul.”

Her beautiful words struck me with a profound sense of overwhelming humility. I was completely humbled and blown away.

Naturally, I went to sleep last night smiling!

So then, during the night, I found myself being recognised for the journey of my own soul.

I can’t ignore the connection.

I’ve spent much of my life holding space for others to be seen. Through my work as a medium, teacher, healer and writer, I have witnessed people’s stories, their pain, their journeys and their souls.

This time, I was the one being seen. And I think that’s why it has affected me so deeply.

The last few years have been an immense struggle. If I’m really honest, perhaps the last few decades have been too. There have been times when I genuinely wondered whether I was going to make it.

I’ve spent so much of my life trying to get somewhere. Searching, striving, waiting, navigating, and at times, avoiding and escaping.

Trying to find the place where life would finally make sense. And something feels different now.

I woke feeling quietly elated, extremely humbled and excited about moving forward. But the excitement isn’t my usual scattered, bouncing-off-the-walls energy.

It’s calm. Very centred and still.

Introspective? Retrospective? I don’t even need to find the exact word. It just feels quietly potent, sacred and immensely profound.

There were just a couple of gentle tears this morning… tears of gratitude. And, if I’m completely honest, tears of relief.

Because something has shifted.

My soul feels like it has arrived rather than constantly trying to escape.

That is the most powerful thing I can say about this experience.

After all the searching, questioning, surviving, rebuilding and wondering where I belonged, something inside me feels as though it has finally stopped running.

I feel like I can put my bags down.

I feel incredibly blessed. Humbled. Seen by Spirit. And deeply grateful for every part of the journey that brought me here.

Because for the first time in a very long time, I don’t feel like I’m trying to escape my life.

I feel like I’ve arrived in it.

I am here.

And finally, it feels like my soul is too. 🙏🏻✨